Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize