he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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