Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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