How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Everclear isn't food dammit
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
