how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize