May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
