It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
