Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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