do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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