i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
