When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
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