just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
