Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
