You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
