? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
That accounts for only three of the penises
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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