Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Randomize
