How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
