do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
