Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
