Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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