What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize