drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
