All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
