She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
