we made out on top of his cat.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
