i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Randomize
