He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You've changed since you got that strap on
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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