he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
