You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize