Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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