yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize
