We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
