She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
