NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
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