I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I wish i was in the wii world.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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