just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
