just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I feel like a drive thru vagina
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
