remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
