Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
