Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
