lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
