If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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