its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize