i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
