There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize