i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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