Whod you bang
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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