And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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