i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
