he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
