I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
