Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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