Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
