Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
