im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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