Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
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