what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
