im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
