my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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